Logan is the obsessed prospector of the family. He often is completely convinced that he knows where the gold lies, fanatically panning for it until a new area takes his attention. This year, Logan starting the year obsessively searching for gold in Magik. For those of you that aren’t 11 and/or still living in your parent’s basment, Magik is a fantasy card game where you play horrifically illustrated cards and then argue about what they mean in some kind of code language. Logan would meet his accomplices (it is stunning and disturbing how many of them aren’t children) at local comic book stores where they would play Magik for hours or until the Nacho Cheese Doritos ran out. We had undercover marshals at these events, but the code that Logan and his cohorts employed was indecipherable.
"You can't play a Necromancer Dragonwhistle until the Moons of Gibdor rise. Duh!"
"By the Spit of the Mighty Thalid, I will slay you by Akroma's Memorial!"
"Really, Larry? Are you going to use your Walmart Employee name tag to do that? Just pass the Doritos and roll already."
Most of our undercover agents were exposed when it was obvious they had jobs and didn’t lead by playing “a land”.
Once the allure of Magik faded, Logan was quick to find his next big thing. It seems Logan craved power, the ability to build anything, and to be ABSOULUTE RULER OF THE WORLD. Chillingly, Logan found the perfect fix for his new craving: Minecraft. Again, we feel that mainstream readers may not be familiar with Logan’s golden egg, so a quick explanation is in order. Minecraft is a video game where you can build stuff, dig indefinitely, fight creepers, and capture flags. All this happens utilizing a 1970s-era graphics engine. Seriously, this game makes Pong look like it was done by Pixar.
Logan did manage to do some things that were not video/dork related this year. The boy is convinced of his eventual place as an all-star free safety in the NFL. His basis for this presumption is his performance in YMCA Flag Football (motto: “Not a single NFL player has ever started here. Ever.”) Logan also enjoys soccer and basketball. However, he feels the MLS and NBA are mere backups to his NFL destiny. Sometimes we think this is more of a fantasy than Magik.
In 2013, as Logan approaches his teen years, we can only guess at what his obsessions will be. Girls? Our guess is that one is a ways off, as none of them know what card to play to counter a Spined Thropter or how to capture the creepers’ flag.
