Every outlaw family has at least one person trying to get out of “the life.” In Jill’s case, “the life” means spending everyday in the car shuttling between kid activities, school, work, and home. Combine this driving lifestyle with Jill’s earthy nature, and she can literally feel each gallon hurt the environment. So, when school is out and she doesn’t have to make that daily trip, she parks the car in the garage and embraces a life of no driving, right?

Wrong.

This is where understanding the mind of the outlaw is most difficult. After spending the school year as a chaffeur, Jill decided to throw all the kids in the car and drive FARTHER.

Some of the trips were reasonable, like Atlanta or Chattanooga. But there were others that were insanely long, like New Jersey (yes, people still go there. We’ve no idea why) and New York. A couple of those trips were around 15 hours. In the car. With 4 kids. And no stopping. And no DVD system. These trips lead many Goodrich outlaw experts to the conclusion that Jill is the craziest of the bunch. If you look closely, you can see the crazy in some of these pictures.

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One of the reasons Jill is at the school so much is volunteering in the kids’ classrooms. She “teaches” a bit of science, with the ultimate goal of discovering a way to propel the minivan to the school without using fossil fuels. The kids at the school love it and tell us that they are deathly afraid of going anywhere near Miss Jill’s car for fear of being swept away on a 15-hour road trip. In the car. With 4 kids. And no stopping. And no DVD. And no fast-food (“I have some dried apple bits, sweetie. You know, I don’t think your gagging noises are very funny!”).

The true solution to Jill’s dilemna is for the family to move on up, to the East Side. They’re thinking a deluxe apartment in the sky may work, but they only have beans and all the apartements they’ve looked at only have grills. Jill is ever hopeful that they’ll get their turn at bat and finally get a piece of the pie.

Finally, there’s been some turmoil between Jill and Glenn around the subject of toast. Glenn has accused her of making and distrubuting counterfeit toast, a charge that is punishable by a whiny husband. Glenn may have a point here, I mean, come on, if it’s NOT CRISPY then it’s NOT TOAST. She cackles every morning as someone goes to get their toast out of the toaster, only to find luke-warm bread in its place.

Truly diabolical.