Looking back at 2016, it is clear that Jill is the foundation of this clan. She signs the kids up for activities and shuttles them to those activities. She also picks the vacation destinations and plans all the trip details. Jill does the shopping for both food and clothes and anything else these 5 leaches need.
Suffice it to say that this family would be naked, starving, uncultured lemmings rotting their existence away were it not for Jill. Not that she’s bitter.
Jill also still works for Wing Haven Gardens, presumably to grow food for the family and be in a garden where no one is pulling on her sleeve to get them to Dance. It should be obvious at this point that Jill’s time is at a premium.
- Q: So, Jill, how was your 2016?
- A: What? A blur, I guess. Can we move this along? I have to get Lily to voice, Becca to dance, go by the gardens and feed the chickens, pick up Emma from Cheerleading, and get new cleats for Logan.
- Q: Wow! Do you want me to do something?
- A: Then, I have to start dinner, but I haven't gotten to the store this week so we're going to have Olive Oil soup with "croutons" (crushed stale bread) again.
- Q: I guess I could make dinner.
- A: I have a PTO meeting in the morning after my appointment with the Chiropractor, so I can prepare the agenda for that meeting while I am getting adjusted.
- Q: Jill, maybe you should sit down for a second?
- A: Then, tomorrow afternoon, a contractor is coming to discuss potential renovations to the house and there's a 3-day weekend coming up so we need to go somewhere. I am looking at us going to Raleigh and DC again like we did this year because I found a Groupon that expires soon and we have to use it or the world ends so I'll call the hotels where we have rewards points and see if anything's available.
- Q: I am starting to fear for your sanity.
- A: I am going to have lunch with Becca in her class on Friday, but I suggested we cook for the whole class so I have to go to the store and get organic groceries for 30 kids (I think I have coupon for Earth Fare, so I need to find that), prepare a menu, and make sure someone is watching our pets while we're in Hilton Head.
- Q: JILL! STOP! What can I do to help?
- A: (Jill comes out of a daze and looks at me.) I dunno, I guess you could empty the dishwasher?
- Q: WHAT??? OMG! DOES ANYONE ELSE DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE?
- A: Never mind. I'll do it. I better eat lunch (takes a bite of pasta from a Ziploc bag she grabbed on the way out the door.) Wait, was that the gluten-free pasta? IT WASN'T? Can...you...go...by...the...post..office...and...mail...this...(Jill, with her last ounce of strength, hands me a package and passes out.)
- Q: I guess. Wait, where's the post office? Jill? Jill? (I set the package down next to Jill and head to the pub.)
- A: (Jill, while still clearly unconscious, opens her phone and replies to an email asking for a room parent.)
You know what’s funny about this interview? Is it’s not that far off from reality. If Jill ever comes to, you can ask her for yourself.