Lily’s 2016 was not unlike her other years. Full of drama that she created, soccer, and girl scouts. Lily is 10, so she is very into Harry Potter and saying the wordsl “OMG” and “butt”.

She is all about her friends, whom we get to hear about everyday. Lily and her friends live in some strange land, seemingly created by Salvador Dali, where nothing makes sense and they do the oddest things. It’s hard to get through a conversation without Lily mentioning how, today at school, her friend turned into a half-kangaroo, half-giraffe being that knew magic (It’s called a Girroo) or something similar. Lily had to help the Girroo return to its home world, which is in a Kleenex box in the Art classroom. Seriously, taking drugs make her stories make MORE sense.

She did get a rather special birthday gift, though, which I am sure she’ll tell us about.

Q: Lily, when you think of 2016, what comes to mind?

A: OMG! My friend, Sally B, says that 2016 was the year of the butt cheek. She is so crazy.

Q: OK. Did anything special happen to you? Maybe a really great gift?

A: OMG! Today, at recess, we played this game where the boys had to guard a tree but they had to take off one shoe and they couldn't smell and the girls we're trying to steal the tree but they couldn't have shoulder-length hair and they had to keep their pinkies in their nostrils or we got to bite them. The communicated by slapping their butt cheeks.

Q: What? That makes no sense? Did you win?

A: OMG! Daddy, do you think birds that can't fly are just playing a trick on us?

Q: You aren't listening to my at all, are you?

A: OMG! In my Voice lessons the other day my teacher asked me what song I wanted to learn and I told her that my friend, Sally B, told me she has a frog as a pet and it has zebra stripes.

Q: Your pants are on fire.

A: OMG! For my birthday this year I got the BEST gift! A dog! We named him Archie (short for Archdale) and he is black and has floppy ears and is SOOOOOOO CUTE. He is part Labrador and part Pitbull. Pitbull the dog, not Pitbull the singer that you hate, Daddy. Archie is MY dog, not Becca's or Emma's or Logan's dog. MY DOG! And he's cute.

Q: Speaking of Archie, he needs to go outside, can you let him out please?

A: OMG! Do I have to do EVERYTHING for the dog? He's the WHOLE FAMILY'S dog, you know, not just my dog. Why do I have to do everything? My friend, Sally B, doesn't have to do anything unless she is staying with her uncle, who is a Wombat.

Q: What about soccer? Are you still enjoying it?

A: OMG! My coach says I am one of those players that can play any position. My friend, Sally B, actually plays all the positions for her team, she's the only player on the WHOLE TEAM, but the object of the game is to snort the loudest, not score goals. She is a great snorter.

Q: OK, let's wrap this up with Girl Scouts. You still like it?

A: OMG! We did this thing called "The Amazing Race" and my friend, Sally B, says it was "Buttcheek", which means it was the greatest thing to ever happen on her planet.

Well, that’s Lily. She is a very high-energy, sweet girl. In moderation. You should know we’ve offered up this interview to Sally B’s family if they want to use it for Sally B’s update, provided the people on her planet read words with their eyes and not their butt cheeks.